Currently my interests extend to thinking about making something, buying a book or some wool or whatever, then just not being bothered and playing The Sims or reading a magazine. Magazines have ruined my life- they make me want to buy things and they make me procrastinate and then I just imagine being rich because I associate that with happiness and a lovely time.
I spend a lot of time thinking about things I want to do in the future and never today, perhaps that is my main flaw. I want to give a home to my millions of things. I live with my parents again. I left to seek the answers to my questions and to understand why I was so lonely. And with thousands of eager students going through their robotic motions of making friends and ever speaking again swarming around and aroundwith their £2 a pint Carlsberg and confident swagger I never felt so fucking alone. In my head I had this master plan. I would go to all the parties, drink til I was sick and wake up snooze through uni go home and start all over again. Thus, whilst operating in this motion, I would become the hub of all life, soul and party. I would be fabulously dressed, outrageously funny and shockingly outspoken. The reality was I was fantastically bored. Although I might have been somewhat ambitious in the way I wished to be recieved I didnt really bank on most other people being the wacky stooodents of my worst nightmares. So all in all this plan was ruined. I went to find myself and I now I am even more confused.

I want to write but I cannot even make the effort. I can’t even be bothered to think half of the time.

I wish I could go away from here with Simon. I’d like to go and play on the beach all day and eat ice creams and sleep on grass by lakes and rivers. I want to go somewhere I don’t understand and live life like a tourist all of the time.

I shall have a shop. It should sell plastic jewellery, vintage bags, sticks of rock and knitted novelties. By night I shall dance and go to the funfair winning gaudy toys. I shall wear what I wish at the shop and only cool people can work there like women with ginger hair and red lips with red 50’s prom dresses or a gay man with a pink mow hawk. It will be a requirement that you are cool. I will also sell melamine plates with kitsh pictures, floral tablecloths and things with cupcakes and swallows and stars and hearts on. It will be the most beautiful shop in the world. I shall also sell cupcakes and the till with be pink with fur around it. Each wall should have different wallpaper and I shall get impressive chandeliers for the ceiling.The floor will be wooden. I shall be so happy there. .